You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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