Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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