Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
