we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
