My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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