foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize