your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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