wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
