can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
this just has baby written all over it
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
