i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
