i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
