Sry I called you an 8
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He passed out mid-signature
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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