Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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