we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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