So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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