found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize