if you like me you must not know who I am
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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