Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
