i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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