I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
What changed your mind?
Being sober
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
