Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
