I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize