Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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