Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
