you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Randomize
