hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
