We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
