explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
