Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
