I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
whose parrot is this?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
