i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
