Already got asked if we're dating
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
