would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
