Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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