It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I showed him my bush... on skype.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
