the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
