I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
