i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
