i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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