DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
