My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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