I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
