Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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