I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
