I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
