I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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