We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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