Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
