sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
