Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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