hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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