benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
