Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
