we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
