my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
