Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
